Ask Dr. Mommy Archive — May 2008

A Pediatrician's Q&A About Angels Foster Babies

Click here to submit a question to Dr. Mommy

Dr. Mommy is better known as Rachel Zahn, MD, a pediatrician and local mom of three kids, ages 20, 18, and 14. All three were born during her medical training, earning her the title. Rachel is also one of our newest Angels Board members. She attended our annual luncheon last year and says “I was so impressed with the organization, and so moved by the kids and their stories that I had to offer to help. The more I learn about Angels, the more passionate I become about our goals.”

Dear Dr. Mommy,

Our baby girl is now 10 months old and she has never slept through the night! She joined our family about 6 months ago, and at that time was waking up every couple of hours to eat, be changed, or sometimes just to play. Back then we thought she needed lots of extra attention, so we were OK with it, and my husband and I took turns getting up with her. Now, it seems that no matter how much we feed her before bed, or how tired out she is by the time she goes down for the night, she pops up like a Jack-in-the-Box every few hours.

We’ve raised two older kids and I don’t remember the sleep issue being so tough. Please help!

Exhausted in Escondido

Dear Exhausted,

I feel your pain. Few things feel worse than sleep deprivation. Just getting through the tasks of the day can seem HUGE when you haven’t had enough rest. What you may not realize is that your baby is exhausted, too. No one thrives on too little sleep. But don’t despair, it CAN be changed. If you’ll give me 5 days max, we can have your little girl sleeping through the night.

One of the greatest truths I learned in my pediatric training was this: There are two things you can’t force a child to do; eat and sleep. Having said that, you can create good sleep habits and regain your sanity. And it doesn’t take very long.

First, create a consistent routine. Choose a convenient bedtime and stick to it. For this first training week try to keep your little girl’s life as predictable as possible. Don’t try this when you’re away on vacation, visiting Grandma, or sleeping in the family room because your bedrooms are being painted. You will basically be creating a sleep “habit”, in much the same way you created the up-and-down habit you described. This works best when the environment and routine are familiar and repetitive.

Next, after making sure she’s had a good supper, and giving her a final bedtime bottle, choose a brief, quiet, pre-crib activity like a story or gentle lullaby. This is NOT the time for an active game. (Important note: Don’t put your baby in the crib with a bottle of formula, or any fluid, other than water. Sugars in the milk or juice will remain in her mouth all night, decaying those important first teeth.)

Then, say a gentle goodnight, put baby in the crib, and leave the room, closing the door. Yes, very likely she will cry. Loud. She will be shocked at this new turn of events. She’s probably never fallen asleep without your help before. Now, here comes the hard part: Let her cry for 10 minutes. Yes, I said 10 minutes. You will need a watch or a clock for this, because each minute will seem endless. Move away from the door, it will be easier. Go wash the dinner dishes, it will be easier. Do whatever you need to do to tolerate 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, one of two things will happen. Either your babe will have fallen asleep, or she will still be mad. If you can still hear her crying, go quietly to the door and let her hear your soothing voice. Repeat your goodnights or coo to her for a moment. Then walk away again for another 10 minutes. Repeat until she falls asleep. The first night this may take up to an hour. Be strong. Remember how long it took to create the old habit. Have confidence that you’re improving your quality of life AND hers.

Later, she may wake up as in the old days. If she does, gently open the door, reassure her, and close the door. Do not go to her or pick her up. She is fine, she just needs a chance to learn the new rules. Again, let her cry for 10 minutes before reassuring her through the closed door. Repeat until she falls back to sleep. Repeat this step as many times as necessary.

I’ll be honest, this technique is not easy at first. You will want to comfort your little girl. You’ll feel guilty and want to pick her up. You will want to feed her. Keep in mind, you are NOT being selfish. Keep in mind, you are teaching her an important skill: putting herself to sleep. Keep in mind, she will be happier and healthier when she is getting a good night’s sleep. It will get easier. By night 2 or 3, she will cry for half the time she did on night 1. By night 5 she will sleep through the night.

Two important requirements before you start: Your baby must be safe in her crib. Make sure it is a safety approved model and the mattress is lowered to an age-appropriate level. Remove any toys or pillows that could hurt her. Also, this is not appropriate for babies younger than 6-7 months. Until then, babies may not be able to go through the night without eating. Some can, but not all.

For YOUR family, this should work well. In less than a week, you can look forward to a good night’s sleep for all!

See the Video
Please watch our Earning Your Wings video to learn more about the crisis in foster care and how you can help. (9 min 30 sec)

Call Now to Change a Child's Life
Call 619-283-8100 or contact us on-line to learn how you can make a donation or become a foster parent.

Please note that Angels places babies only in San Diego County of California.We regret that many of the interested applicants who contact us live outside of this area, but we cannot accept any applications from outside of San Diego County.

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